Sunday, July 20, 2008

The List

Hello readers. I have been too sad to blog regularly. Though I have noticed that many of my colleagues, when they are too sad to blog, will create lists. Here is my list. This is my top five. I hope that this will lead you to create a list. Then, perhaps, you will add your list to your blog.

5) Joyce Carol Oates is exactly like Joan of Arc.

4) Maureen Dowd believes that Barrack Obama is not funny enough. One need only look at the man's diet.

3) Michael Chabon's first book, published when he was 36, Mysteries of Pittsburgh contains not one mystery; I feel cheated.

2) The war in Iraquois rages on, yet the president is criticized for having made a mistake. Would his detractors have preferred a shorter war?

1) Let's all clap our hands and welcome Iowa resident, Nam Le, as the newest member of the post-Lacanian literati. His first book of short fiction The Hovercraft takes us into the future, the past, and searches beneath the surface of the fiery present!

0) Food vs. food-like products. Where is the semblance?

-1) There's already been Oscar talk this year, and it's not even August.

-2) Bonnie "Prince" Billy's cover of Little Wing, properly titled Inagaddadedenhoney.

-3) Am I the first blogger to realize that one may take their top five list into the negative numbers in order to create a top eleven list?

-4) My advice to young, aspiring writers? Keep rereading Proust until Bolano's Swann Song is finally translated into English.

-5) Or else learn Spanish. It is America's 2nd Language!

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